As the title of this blog suggests there will be some occurrences in the very near future that may well have me a little nervous and most likely stressed out.
Yup, it’s assessment time… As the end of my third academic year at Wolverhampton university draws to a close the time has come for me to prove that I have actually learnt something (a feat that I’m concerend that I may not be able to perform).
So, I’ve got the dates and times for the unavoidably stressful situations I will be enduring: April 21st, April 24th, April 29th, May 5th & May 12th.
TOO MUCH, TOO MANY, TOO HARD! I’m most likely gonna keep this page updated with what will probably become a diary of how stressed-out I’m becoming over these assessment and a quick summary of how each exam went – if I can bring myself to actually relive the memory of it, lol.
I can safely say that I’m done for the time being, just thinking about the next exam on the horizon, tomorrow at 4:15pm, is giving me palpatations.
~keep the peace or acknowledge the rules overstated and learn to bend them to meet the style that you’ve created~
To the intermittent reader (yes I’ve stolen that from Mr. King, get over it – anyway, he says ‘dear’)
Ever since I’ve been writing in this blog I’ve never had the inclination to read back through what I’ve written, mostly because the archive extends back over 4 years and my personality does not lend itself to my doing things that are boring and strain my eyes. However, a friend of mine decided to take on the monumental task of reading up on my life from now back to my first post all those years ago, and to keep up with the references she was making to entries I posted all those years ago I took it upon myself to read back over them.
So many stupid things that I still regret doing even now have been brought back to the fore of my my conscious (does ‘back to the fore’ even make sense?). Nearly everything I’ve ever done that I regret has involved a girl, (or several – although not in the sense of ‘all at once’) and some of the stuff I typed up to this place where I could unload with no real repercussions is quite sad, not even in the upsetting sense, and I just feel like more and more of a tool for being the person I was and doing the things that I did back then. I mean, I felt sh!tty back when I wrote some of the stuff, but looking back on it all now I just cringe at some things and recall how crap I felt, and for some reason STILL feel, for doing the things I did.
Like the whole Sonya situation: I was 18 and acted like a 15 year old… A positive aspect of my doing this is that I can now see why I am the way I am now in some respects, my dislike for relationships and my inability to trust people with my feelings.
I think I wanted to leave a journal for others to read and a place I could document my life so that others could find out about me. I guess it’s ironic that it’s ME that’s finding out about me at a later date…
Amy’s gonna be so pissed when she realised she waited so long just to read this bullsh!t post… haha… sorry darlin’…
~keep the peace or take a trip down memory lane only to come back with ugly trinkets and souveneirs of pain~
(i think i might use that as a lyric when I start writing songs again)
I know it’s only been a week since I last updated this page but a few things have altered… My housemates and I had a little talk (and I got a little shouted at) and things have improved around here, we’re talking again (breaking the silence by yelling(ish) at me was the best thing that my housemate could have done)…
Assessments have been bogging me (and a lot of others on the course) down… I’m actually meant to be doing one now (look what happened there)…
I’ve started listening to more meaningful music recently which has started me feeling some emotions again (man I’m making myself sound like a robot with no emotions but sometimes that is exactly how I can be) and I’ve been feeling happier ’cause the depressing music allows that emotion to effectively be ‘used up’ so I don’t dwell on it later…
Anyway… things are on the up and up… though I’m concerned now that my results for the last lot of assessments are going to reflect how I was feeling this last month or so…
So yeah… ’til the next time… lol
~keep the peace or comunicate with the earth using a very large speaker face-down and KoRn songs~
It’s January 18th… I’m still at home after christmas, term doesn’t officially start until the 28th so i’ve got 10 days to kill…
There’s not so much to say even though so much time has passed. Christmas came and went without so much as a rustle in the leaves on the tree of excitement. No matter, New Years was meant to be a blast, road trip to Leeds with JaMeS, Sean, Neil and his girlfriend, Anna. Not so, Sean was ill so it was just the 4 of us in the car. The party was just a gathering of stoners sat around toking on spliffs and a shisha pipe which grew tiresome quickly, Neil and Anna left just after the countdown to the new year, JaMeS and I left half an hour later. Can’t say it was a raucous shindig and there was no sense of joy in the atmosphere.
Well this has been a dismal post so far eh?
Since returning from Leeds there has been even less than f*ck-all to do and so i’ve been in my house pretty much every day slobbing out in front of the T.V. I’ve never been so glad to get back to Wolverhampton in my life. Speaking (well, typing) of Wolverhampton, I have recieved most of my results from the first semester, I was pleasantly surprised to find that not only had I passed the part that I had believed would be my one failing, I got a freakin’ ‘A’! Much joy from that… Kinda stared at the results page and began laughing hysterically.
Bought some weighing scales from Asda so I could keep track of my steady weight loss after the pigging-out of x-mas and new year, only to be dissapointed once again when I realised that I’ve slowly been gaining weight, probably linked to this self induced confinement to my house. Not that I’m a fat git but I can’t help but look in the mirror after a shower or something and go ‘uurgh’. That, combined with a steadily receeding hairline makes me wonder if I’m ever be found attractive again by anyone. Ah! Enough of this self pity! Heading back to uni in a few days, probably this coming Wednesday (though by the time anyone reads this it’ll be several Wednesdays past)
Maybe I’ll keep posting about my highly interesting a varied life!
*keep the peace – it’s just too much hassle to be bogged down by everyday stuff*