fry the bird-day

Thursday 26th May – No college and i didn’t skive! How good is that!?!? Anyway… Took Alice bacm to mine for a bit while i showered and the such… Went to town, saw lots of people… Walked Alice home with Jesus Dave and Caz… Met Neil out of work and somehow we ended up at Bubble’s house… Don’t recall the events leading to that… got a lift with Gemma back to Neil’s and i’ve left my skateboard in the back of her car… Meh… Slept at Neil’s…

Friday 27th May – Had a really bad sleep… Went home as Neil went to work… Meant to do work for dad, did none… Went to town to see Vikki and spent till about 7:10pm with her in town before heading home and going to Mike’s… Spent till 4am with him…

Carl (keep the peace or keep it short and sweet, missing out some important details to do so)

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Choose Wednesday

Tuesday – Woke up at Tom’s… Sociology, practicing exam technique… Skived Tutorial… Went to town… Met Neil out of work and Got a bus to his with Caz… Walked home later…

Wednesday – Exams at 9am… Difficult due to tiredness and lack of previous understanding… Walked to town, bought a bus-pass… Met people… Saw Sonya, felt like i’d been kicked in the stomach, tried to act normal, failed… Sign language was cancelled… Walked around town with people… Met Neil at 9pm… Visited the Yorkie, went to Alice’s, got thrown out at 2am, Gemma drove Alice, Neil and myself back to Neil’s where i stayed the night…

Carl (keep the peace or poke that thing on the ground with spiky sticks)

Manday

Well not really man-day… but shh, it rhymes with the day it actually was…

Right… Monday… Oh! Before i start… THANK YOU to all the people offering me hugs and a person to speak to about my ‘shit’ cos it really makes me feel like i have good friends… Which i do… YAY!!! I’m ok about it all, i think, maybe it’s self denial, i don’t know… I loved her, and she just picked me up and put me down… It was my own fault, she told me she’d do it but i was just blinded by a sheer need for her that i didn’t see the reality of what i was getting myself into… I guess the pain i’m in now has given me my sight back… *hug* back to all the people that have given me one…

Anyway… Monday… Skived college cos i couldn’t be arsed walking in the rain… But went into town later to meet Tom after his General Sudies Exams… Stayed in town till late (ish) then stayed the night at Tom’s… Pretty cool… Spent till about midnight on MSN… He knows how to cheer a mate up… *hug* for him… Anyway… That’s about it… Tho he taught me to appreciate Dream Theatre now… Well good….

Carl (keep the peace or keep those blood rabid penguins on their leashes!)

wed-thu-fri-sat-sun

Shortened version of the week…

Wednesday – Sonya stayed at Ed’s… I couldn’t sleep cos of what i know about her, booze and guys…

Thursday – Met Sonya in Williamsons Park… Walked back to BLS…

Friday – Went to Sonya’s for 3 hrs… Watched Blade… Went to pub in Kendal, conversed in BSL… Got a lift home…

Saturday – Town with mum & sister… Met Sonya, she was being ‘off’ with me… She went to Ed’s… I accused her of wanting to be with Ed… She got a bus home and i punched a wall type thing… Cried, went into hysterics, nearly slit my wrists…

Sunday – Slept between 6:30am and 9:30am… Did work for grandad… broke up with Sonya over msn i think… Went to Mike’s and watched TV with him till midnight…

That’s all i’m gonna say… cos… who, really, reads about this shit heap of a life i lead…

Carl (keep the peace or find a surgical blade in your pocket the only time you feel in need of pain)

Tuesday

Tuesday 17th May

Listening to: Metallica – Hit The Lights (Kill ’em All)

Woke up and was still in the fantastic mood i was in from the day before, Sonya on the brain… Well good… Stayed at home, meant to be revising for Sociology exam at 1:30pm… Finished off my Bebo quiz and then, due to lack of funds for a bus, walked to college… Did my exam, will have either failed, or just scraped a passing grade, not happy with that at all… Went into town, met a few people, Katy, Dave and others… Sonya came in at 6pm => Spent till 10:20 with her, well good, went to Subway then Williamsons Park with her… Walked home got back at about midnight… Cos i stopped outside Neil’s house and txted him for a bit… Went to sleep at about 12:30am

Carl (keep the peace or increase the medication until you see stars all day)

Sa-Su-Mo

Generally listening to Alkaline Trio/3 Doors Down/My Chemical Romance

Saturday 14th May

Spent some of the day helping my grandad. Went to James’ halo-fest thing, was really unsociable, due to Sean and Sonya. Sean just being there and Sonya upsetting me via txt. So wasn’t a good guest. Got a cab home with Mike at 3am.

Sunday 15th May

Such a day. Right, Mike came over at about 3:30pm… Spent till 9:00pm with him, then after several confusing txts from Sonya telling me to, then not to, go see her… I called her and decided that i needed to speak with her… Got to Kirkby at 11pm and we talked for a few hours in her room. I don’t quite know how it happened… Thank fuck it did though, we started kissing… And didn’t really stop till midday on Monday…Actually the best 13 hours of my life as far i as i can recall…

Monday 16th May

Got back into town after being in Kirkby for so long. Met Rachel Threlfall. Spent till 3:30pm with her, then just told everyone i could possibly tell that me and Sonya were back together. Unfortunately, Ed the guy that Sonya was most probably going to move onto after me, got wind of it and stormed off. Sonya is now not happy. urk. Anyway. Went to Jake’s for a bit. Then met Tom and he bought me a subway sandwich. Stayed in town with him till 6:20pm, got a bus home and chilled for a bit then Annia came round for 30 mins, she actually came to see rachl but there was only me in. She seems more at ease about me and Sonya than i expected. Walked her home then watched some tv programme about a lil kid with no face. Then went to bed at like 10pm… Such a tired bastard i was.

Thriday (three things day)

Thursday 12th May

Listening to: Stabbing Westward – The Only Thing (Stabbing Westward)

Skivved college again… Slept too long… So went into town with sister, cos she’s on study leave now… She went up to Ripley (my old high-school) to do some art work and i saw some friends… Went back into town with my sister, gave her £10 cos i love her… hehe… Stayed in town, saw Sonya, which muddled with my feelings… I wanted to just go over and beg her to take me back… I couldn’t though, so i settled with just walking her to her bus and feeling like crap as it pulled away… I actually slumped to the floor… People thought i’d O.D’d or something… Would have been quite funny if i wasn’t close to tears or anything… Such a nasty way to end the afternoon… However, met Neil out of work and went to the Crypt with him, then met Gemma, who took us to a house party in Morecambe… Kinda sucked cos there were like 3 people other than Neil and Gemma i knew there… Sam, Emma and some guy who’s name i’ve forgotten… Though he was a cool guy… Got home for about 11/11:30pm and went to sleep i think…

Friday the Thirteenth! (oooh!) of May

Listening to: Stabbing Westward – Angel (Stabbing Westward)

Went into town to get hearing aid batteries for meinen father… Also to check how much it’d be to get any of the three phones that i own fixed… £15 per screen, i needed 2 and £35 per proper fix to get it running… i needed 3 of those… i was like… MEH!!! So gave up on that and went on a cheap phone hunt with Tom… Met Vicky, Ste, Jon and Hannah Mason in town, then Rachael Spence, Caz, Frances, JaMeS and Dan T… Spent till 4:55pm in town,got a bus home, cleaned myself up, got a lift back to town with mum for 6:30pm and met Neil… Poor guy, Frances ended things with him so he was a lil upset, just because of the way she did it… However this is my blogg and not Neil’s, his is here http://spaces.msn.com/members/blinkredpark/PersonalSpace/

We then went to dalton square and watched pigeons fight… Then the Crypt, then rock night… Was ok ish till i found out Sonya was coming… Cheers Lewis… hehe.. Still, felt a bit down, cos i knew i couldn’t be with her… So i ended up sitting in a corner feeling sorry for myself… Though all my friends, Kyle, Neil, Alice, Vicky, Dave and my sister were all round me trying to cheer me up, vicky won tho, with ‘4 naked women in bed’… Now i don’t quite know why that worked, but it did and for that i’m thankful… Spoke with Sonya and through the drunken-ness that was her speach, she got through to me that she didn’t care anymore and that she’s too messed up to go out with anyone… All i wanted was a last kiss, just a goodbye kiss… Cos i wanted her to be ok, not to be too stressed and if she needed to be away from me to do that, then so be it… However if a little bit of her still wanted me… Then i’d do all i could to make that little bit get larger… Anyway, she refused to kiss me and that’s when something clicked and i was really happy, dancing like a lil mad-man… I think i just quickly locked away any feelings i had and pretended i was ok about it… It worked though… Makes me a major hypocrite though, cos it was my philosophy to let feelings be known, out in the open… I guess there are some things better left unsaid… Right at the end i spoke with Sonya and she asked if the question was still available, i was like ‘what question’… She meant the kiss… Now i didn’t know what to do, if i kissed her, i’d be unlocking the cage i’d only just made around my feelings but saying no would be stupid cos i love kissing her, well i love her… I just remained silent though, cos i didn’t know what to say, then she asked if she was allowed to kiss me instead… I really, really couldn’t decline… It was so hard to to imagine we were back together, we started holding hands again and everything, i had to split our hands, cos i knew it would just confuse us both… I told her i loved her and i hoped she sorted her head out soon… Cos i need her… Then Neil, Kyle and myself got a lift with Neil’s mum back to Neil’s and he sold me his old phone, which is the same as my sister’s, which i’ve been using for a bit… We’re talking like 3am here… So goodnight ya’ll

Carl (keep the peace or build a cage around what you feel and preted the world is a happy place)